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Calls from the Clink

"We’re going to get cut off, but I think you are splendid, I miss you, and I wish I could sleep in your bed."

Goodnight

As I fell to the floor I could feel that my heart was now lead. My fear had come true as I look at her stomach to check for breath. Tears exploded out of me as I lay next to her body with her paw in my hand. My heavy breathing gave the illusion of life, but she was gone. My best friend, my companion lives no more. There is a hole in my heart. I will love you forever and always. Sweet dreams my sweet Zoe.

Tuesday 4:51am

I miss your morning visits. I miss your sweet embrace. Worn close to me like a hip slung baby, adjusting with my every breathe. Your smell, saltly and sweet. A chain laying on your neck and sheets, your belly peek a booing from your sweatshirt. Your want to keep me with you as I reach out of your arms for the alarm. “I have to go soon,” I’d always whisper to the side of your lips with a kiss. But really, it was you, each visit, each goodbye kiss and squeeze of the hand, saying it to me.

i-gnotum:

Madame Tussaud’s spare heads

i-gnotum:

Madame Tussaud’s spare heads

(Source: mortyl, via bestiario)

Stars

The loneliness is less crippling now, I’m taking back what I never had. Days made dreamier in a drunken haze, nights less cold in warm embrace. Fingers entwined, and shoulder kisses in and out of dreams like sun on my skin. Beacons of light like stars in the sky, twinkling, winking at me assuring me things are ok. Tenderness is a drug, when destroying yourself seems inevitable.

Today

Today I crave your voice. Words and songs that make my heart flutter. I desire your smile; your eyes. Your arm draped lovingly around my body. Your lips caressing my shoulders as they are worthy of affection. you make me feel lovely, to feel worthy and strange. I want to feel your silky smooth skin on my cheek, your cheek smashed in mine. Let’s dream together. Let’s hope and play. Let me know your secrets and I’ll show you I won’t tell.

Yes and No

When we are together, I become unstuck in time. I cease to acknowledge my existence because I am overcome by it. I want to be with you. I feel light- the corners of my mouth float towards the sun. And as its warmth, reflected off of you, washes over me I feel happy. The heaviness in my heart stops, and just for a moment I can breathe. And so I breathe you into me. You taste like smoke and relief. I want to touch you, to be near to you- to taste your skin. I want to lick inside of your lips, our mouths moving together in a conversation of lust. I want to feel your body pressed into mine as my thigh find itself between yours- your pocket poking me with the cigarettes it has hidden inside. But as quickly as you appeared, you leave. My self, my charms are not enough. Too busy. Though you’re conflicted, I wonder if you’ll ever find me to be enough. The doubt floods my heart with lead and I sink into myself. Unlovable- unknowable. A secret for no one.

heart of glass

born broken, my heart needs glue.
it need hands to hold it, to give it shape.
it needs others to recognize, though it’s shape isn’t perfect, because it is so fragile, it is still a heart.
I pushed you and your hands began to shake, you dropped my heart and now my heart aches. Who will love a misshapen heart? who will help
me build a new one?

eat your heart out Aubrey Beardsley.

eat your heart out Aubrey Beardsley.

cat artz. my cat lady status is going to the moon if I keep making shit like this.

cat artz. my cat lady status is going to the moon if I keep making shit like this.

Ghost World

My memories are all wrapped up in you. That bedspread, concert ticket, book. They were ours once. Given to you out of love, what’s mine was yours. This house, those pots, this heart. Those things I gave you, they’re mine again, handed back like a gift unloved. My old life haunts me with smiles and kisses and love.

Binge and Purge

Despair. Not sadness. A black darker than the rest. Depression is shades of grey, despair is a lifestyle. The sad place I go to work everyday. It takes work, you know, to live this way. It’s not for the weak of heart. It is for the iron souled. The Tin men. “if I only had a heart!” The truth is I do and it’s made of tar. Covered in oil and can barely pump without the pain of movement. My skin is a pillow and I’m suffocating myself. Breathe in. Blackout.

Darkness

From kaleidoscopes to telescopes i was transformed. a chemical reaction in the heart; hope found in infinity. And now, as I gaze into the universe, I mimic the stars as I watch each one implode.

Calls from the Clink

"We’re going to get cut off, but I think you are splendid, I miss you, and I wish I could sleep in your bed."

Goodnight

As I fell to the floor I could feel that my heart was now lead. My fear had come true as I look at her stomach to check for breath. Tears exploded out of me as I lay next to her body with her paw in my hand. My heavy breathing gave the illusion of life, but she was gone. My best friend, my companion lives no more. There is a hole in my heart. I will love you forever and always. Sweet dreams my sweet Zoe.

Tuesday 4:51am

I miss your morning visits. I miss your sweet embrace. Worn close to me like a hip slung baby, adjusting with my every breathe. Your smell, saltly and sweet. A chain laying on your neck and sheets, your belly peek a booing from your sweatshirt. Your want to keep me with you as I reach out of your arms for the alarm. “I have to go soon,” I’d always whisper to the side of your lips with a kiss. But really, it was you, each visit, each goodbye kiss and squeeze of the hand, saying it to me.

i-gnotum:

Madame Tussaud’s spare heads

i-gnotum:

Madame Tussaud’s spare heads

(Source: mortyl, via bestiario)

Stars

The loneliness is less crippling now, I’m taking back what I never had. Days made dreamier in a drunken haze, nights less cold in warm embrace. Fingers entwined, and shoulder kisses in and out of dreams like sun on my skin. Beacons of light like stars in the sky, twinkling, winking at me assuring me things are ok. Tenderness is a drug, when destroying yourself seems inevitable.

Today

Today I crave your voice. Words and songs that make my heart flutter. I desire your smile; your eyes. Your arm draped lovingly around my body. Your lips caressing my shoulders as they are worthy of affection. you make me feel lovely, to feel worthy and strange. I want to feel your silky smooth skin on my cheek, your cheek smashed in mine. Let’s dream together. Let’s hope and play. Let me know your secrets and I’ll show you I won’t tell.

Yes and No

When we are together, I become unstuck in time. I cease to acknowledge my existence because I am overcome by it. I want to be with you. I feel light- the corners of my mouth float towards the sun. And as its warmth, reflected off of you, washes over me I feel happy. The heaviness in my heart stops, and just for a moment I can breathe. And so I breathe you into me. You taste like smoke and relief. I want to touch you, to be near to you- to taste your skin. I want to lick inside of your lips, our mouths moving together in a conversation of lust. I want to feel your body pressed into mine as my thigh find itself between yours- your pocket poking me with the cigarettes it has hidden inside. But as quickly as you appeared, you leave. My self, my charms are not enough. Too busy. Though you’re conflicted, I wonder if you’ll ever find me to be enough. The doubt floods my heart with lead and I sink into myself. Unlovable- unknowable. A secret for no one.

heart of glass

born broken, my heart needs glue.
it need hands to hold it, to give it shape.
it needs others to recognize, though it’s shape isn’t perfect, because it is so fragile, it is still a heart.
I pushed you and your hands began to shake, you dropped my heart and now my heart aches. Who will love a misshapen heart? who will help
me build a new one?

CATcher in the rye

CATcher in the rye

eat your heart out Aubrey Beardsley.

eat your heart out Aubrey Beardsley.

cat artz. my cat lady status is going to the moon if I keep making shit like this.

cat artz. my cat lady status is going to the moon if I keep making shit like this.

Ghost World

My memories are all wrapped up in you. That bedspread, concert ticket, book. They were ours once. Given to you out of love, what’s mine was yours. This house, those pots, this heart. Those things I gave you, they’re mine again, handed back like a gift unloved. My old life haunts me with smiles and kisses and love.

Binge and Purge

Despair. Not sadness. A black darker than the rest. Depression is shades of grey, despair is a lifestyle. The sad place I go to work everyday. It takes work, you know, to live this way. It’s not for the weak of heart. It is for the iron souled. The Tin men. “if I only had a heart!” The truth is I do and it’s made of tar. Covered in oil and can barely pump without the pain of movement. My skin is a pillow and I’m suffocating myself. Breathe in. Blackout.

Darkness

From kaleidoscopes to telescopes i was transformed. a chemical reaction in the heart; hope found in infinity. And now, as I gaze into the universe, I mimic the stars as I watch each one implode.

Calls from the Clink
Goodnight
Tuesday 4:51am
Stars
Today
Yes and No
heart of glass
Ghost World
Binge and Purge
Darkness

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